Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Infertility

Hey Y'all how are you today?
It's a rainy grey day here. which I am thankful for because the pollen is killing me!
I have seasonal allergies and this year nothing is working, so rain is a good thing.
So a few things are prompting this post.
1. My struggle with infertility
2.An article I read on one of our local news stations web sites.
3.Questions I get asked
4.My surgeries and another on the horizon.
5.Adoption heartbreak
So this wont be forever long I will break it up in more than one post.
Goodness where do I even start?
An article I just read says 12 in every 100 women struggle with infertility and yet no one talks about it.
Why?
A lot of women are ashamed, religious views, public perception the feeling of inadequacy etc...the list goes on. That's part of what prompted me to share.
The heartbreak and heartache of not being a mom have existed my entire adult life. It was my greatest desire. It is not meant to be.
Let me start with the most recent the surgeries and the next one on the way.
So I have NEVER in all my life since puberty been on a regular cycle, oh I would go through spurts of regularity for a few months but it never lasted.
It did not worry me at all until after I got married and we were not getting pregnant so I saw my regular doctor who sent me to a specialist in difficult and hi-risk pregnancies, he was great to me. I was diagnosed me with Endometrial Hyperplasia and Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and enlarged Ovaries. Surgery followed then rounds of weight loss drugs fertility drugs, hormone therapy, testing and nothing, surgery again.....
Fast forward 12 years still barren and still not regular, my cycle went crazy again and I just cannot take it anymore. So a new DR. who is also  great she got my results and though I am no longer trying to get pregnant I need to have normalcy in my life, my cycle this time started on July 2,2014 and still has not stopped. The struggle is real folks! So hyperplasia is back so surgery again that was the one on March 19 (Lees birthday) they get in there and find massive fibroid and a massive amount of polyps for whatever reason (I have heard different excuses)  they were not able to be removed that day so a second surgery 6 days later was scheduled. March 25.
This week I went back for my results.
Complex Endometrial Atypia with underlying Carcinoma.
What that means is there is a cancer but not tumors and that also means to get rid of it I have to have a total hysterectomy.
I meet with a gyn oncologist on the 22nd to get more information and schedule the next surgery.
That is where I will end it today.
Please ask any questions you have.
X's & O's



4 comments:

  1. Oh Jenny , my heart does indeed go out to you. I know some of what you have /are enduring but it is nothing compared to above as I did end up with 2 great kids 6 yrs apart. My daughter has some of the same problems so I do feel guilty that I may have perpetuated the problem for future generations just to satisfy my own whims. Just had my latest smear test and awaiting the results back.Wish I could give you a big big hug. Thinking of you and wish you well for the next surgery. Hugs Mrs A.

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  2. Sweet Jenny, you know I know the struggle of infertility as I suffer and struggle with it every single day of my life. I definitely shed at least one tear everyday as not a day goes by that I don't think about how I will never get to be a mother. I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this on top of everything else. It's not fair and it is okay to say that it's not fair. I have been thinking about you a lot and hoping that you are doing well. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you from far away. Lots of hugs and love coming your way!

    ~Trisha

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  3. oh Jenny.. so sorry to hear this. I dont know how old you are and really it doesnt matter anyway. I had a hysterectomy many mnay years ago. I was able to keep my ovaries though,. however, it sounds like you will not be able too. My daughter has PCOS also and was very very lucky and very very surprised to get pregnant when she did. I dont know why some do and some dont. I work at social services in foster care and also on call for child protective services. And several of my coworkers were not able to get pregnant. We find it so unfair and wrong that so many undeserving, rotten people have babies and dont care for them properly.. or at all in some cases. Have you considered foster care with adoption in mind? Im sure you have because you mention it as one of the topics you'll be addressing. I'll be following along here. wish I had something to say to make you feel better... but know I'm thinking of you and wishing you well for your next surgery.
    (((Hugs)))
    vivian

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  4. WOW Jenny. That is rough. I am so sorry this is going on in your life. You are strong and you will get through it. And who knows what the future holds! I am here for you if you ever need me!!!
    On a brighter note, I am having a giveaway on my blog! Maybe winning will cheer you up!
    Be well my friend and many blessings!
    xxDaniella

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